Dilemma

Just came back from some tanning at Tampines Swimming Complex with my pretty beep @bitchyaffairs

Buried my face under my towel the whole time just so I wouldn't look ugly with Jet Black coz I think only fair skinned people can pull black off and I can't afford to dye it again if not my hair will die (although I think it's already dead) hiak hiak I like my face colour now I don't mind it a little darker but I don't want it to peel~ And most importantly, no more freckles on my face.

I have freckles and they're damn gross so I spammed sunblock on my face and spammed suntan oil on my body v^^v And my legs are red now I kinda wish it'll always stay this way. Beep is super hot in bikini. And we're gonna go tanning again tomorrow!

Was all pink today. My bag, my towel, my shades, my bikini, my phone, my waterbottle.

Oh anyway just bought a top and pants on impulse pls pray I look good in them?

If you guys have been following.......... if anyone is. Should I still remain in Blazers. Fyi Blazers is TP cheerleading team and I kinda stopped going after my horrible results in Sem 1 although I loved it so much! Yeah so I stopped going to concentrate on my studies (Apparently it didn't work coz I did as bad in Sem 2) But then again, if I continued going for training 4-5 times a week then, I wouldn't even have passed.

So should I go back? I've been thinking about this since I "left" Blazers. If I quit... what if I regret? If I don't, how am I going to cope with studies when school reopen. Cheerleading is fun and it keeps me fit. Fit as in gaining ALOT of muscles... which makes me look fat/ bigger in size on the other hand. Have you seen my arms? ***But cheerleaders have abs***

After I left cheer, I lost weight leh no kidding. And it's visible weight loss. I used to hang around 47kg to 49kg, ok most of the time 48.5 (?) Now I'm 47kg. It's not alot but at least it's visible................................. according to people? And I want to lose somemore weight! Till I'm 45 (?)

Training's tomorrow and if I still wanna be in Blazers I have to go for training but I'm not ready.

Am 70% sure I'm leaving mostly because I'm super lazy and I'd rather go home everyday after school. School = 9 to 6 everyday. If I go for training it's another 3 hours 3 times a week (+ saturday) Also because of the people who are in cheer. SIGH.......... New captain and I don't even feel like he's a friend anymore. So hard to communicate with him he's almost unapproachable.

I wanna go back to Blazers so I get to see my bagwas everyweek......... I don't wanna drift away from them. It'll be the saddest thing ever. Idk, ftuhciks.

Bye. x