Don't text him

Don't text him

Don't text him

Don't text him

Don't text him

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I just texted him.

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It sucks how badly you want to talk him but know that things will only become worse. Frankly, I miss him but if we're better off without each other then (insert smile). If we do not work out, he will never and was never mine. I feel I'm strong I don't cry as much like I used to. Y'know like now I'm no longer 15, maturity steps in. He shouldn't feel sad because I'm not crying. It doesn't mean I'm not sad. It just means, I'm telling myself everything's going to be okay.

But whatever the outcome is, he will always be dear to me and occupy a place in my heart.

Because he's everything I dreamt of. No actually, he's more than everything I dreamt of.

Now I understand what it means when someone's too good for you. It's not stupidity, really. It's just when he's too nice, I tend to be spoilt like I am now and I admit I take him for granted.

8 hours have passed since I last texted him. 8 hours - Healthy nap time. I wonder what he's doing. Mmhmm.

I didn't really think of him thought he'll always be at the back of my mind for now. Its much easier when you've friends around you. They make time fly and they make it seem like actually it isn't that bad afterall. You just gotta occupy yourself with stuff that makes you happier.

Sometimes I kinda ask myself why am I always falling into shit?????

I once pledged and promised myself I have to treasure this relationship and make it my last and final relationship, get married to him and stay faithful and loyal to him for the rest of our lives. But now it doesn't seem like I'm keeping to my words. Yes, this time I blame myself for it. Really.

I have put myself in his shoes. Idk how badly I'll react to it but I know I'll feel miserable.

Idw him to feel miserable. I sincerely want him to be happy although I know it's nearly impossible.

Why can't I commit myself to a relationship and sacrifice as much as I have to when I once had a 3 year long relationship. Is it because I've no confidence in any cocky relationship because I know in the end, whether both parties are still in love with each other, either 1 will come up with excuses to leave the other? Fragility. Nah, I think it's just an excuse. Because now I'm the one coming up with an excuse to leave him.

Idk actually.

He hasn't replied hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ); He didn't call me yst night before he slept, I was angry. That's why I replied him coldly this morning like I wasn't interested talking to him at all. I was at fault, wasn't I?

Dan's birthday today. Met Geraint, Jingyong, Candy and Rachel @ Tampines and Junsiang on the way in the train and CS @ Ion! Daniel had a wild ride today hehehehehe but he looked so chio in the makeup I did on him!!! Poor Daniel, but he could've looked worse ALL THANKS TO ME AND MY AWESOME MAKEUP SKILLS. Pictures will be up on FACEBOOK sooooooooooooon I'll see if I post it. I hope I looked glam. I felt skinny today till I went home and saw the sucky mirror I AM SO FAT.

And 9 people in total say I look like Jessica from SNSD like cool or what but wthhhhhhhhh she is so chio SO I TAKE THAT AS A COMPLIMENT AH?????????????

People say I look like Bunny, Barbie, Jessica and Ng Hui (Mediacorp but I don't think many knows her) Does that mean............ Jessica looks like a bunny hehehehehehe

I feel happy today! :)

When I tried looking @ Jessica's face on the poster at some booth I dropped the frame like *BOWMB* LUCKILY THE UNCLE NEH SCOLD ME.

AND JINGYONG WAS NICE ENOUGH TO TAKE MRT WITH ME (:

Dan, hope you enjoyed your birthday and my card for you. LT18 + Heidi will always luv you!

I need to mug for sem test I want to score and make myself, Mom Dad happy.

DAD'S @ PENANG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Did you see Forever21's leopard printed bikini in pink?! I'm gonna get it.

I'm not crying because I don't feel sad. I'm not crying because I'm telling myself not to. But the tears will overcome me when night falls and I'm all alone on my bed with 8 soft toys around me, bringing back unforgetable memories.

Bev. Val.

:)

Hello babies I'm home aft a long day @ school. School was slackish todayzzz. I GOT LIKE 2 QUIZ PAPERS BACK AND WTFUGZ I DID BADLY. I SCORE 15/25 FOR PIPC (!!!) AND 24 HALF/25 FOR MATHS AND STATS.

HALF MARK FOR TO FULL MARKS LEH BEAT THAT!!!

I SO PRO HUH AIYA BUT ITS ANNOYING CUZ I JUST NEED THAT HALF MARK TO GET A FRIGGIN' 25 OUT OF 25.

Principles of inorganic and physical chemistry sucks );< I hate it EW. I thought I would have just missed 8 marks or so because of my stewpid careless mistake. But I lost 10. 10 MARKS GONE, 40 MARKS WHEN CONVERTED TO OUT OF 100. 40 MARKS IS LIKE WHAT?!?!?!?! 3 GRADES DOWN?!?!?!?!?!

Angry la. But oh well, I just I just have to work harder. I need to score damn well for term test manzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Who doesn't wanna score well. Watch me muahahahhahahaha.

Saturday - Cheer outing/training to Sentosa

MAKES ME EGGCITEDZZZZZZZZ!!! I luv Blazers so muchie. I luv 'm more after the Sentosa outing. Like, everybody in Blazer makes me laugh. :> I swear I'm never ever ever ever excuse myself from cheer practice ever again. I look forward to every tuesdays and fridays. \m/

Thanks Meiyan and Celine and Canice and Jiahui for their MAJOR accompany. :>

Canice got injured @ her leg. I was so worried for her but I'm glad she's fine now. She had to be sent to the hospital aft. her left leg couldn't move and no one knew why. She was crying so badly ): Apparently she came in contact with a stonefish eekz. STONEFISHES ARE POISONOUS IF YOU DIDN'T KNOW. I have never touched a stonefish. -_- Hehe. K if I did, I would've been poisoned.

Oh anywayz, I've never seen stonefishes @ beaches. I never heard of stonefishes biting people @ beaches or whatsoever. I've only seen stonefishes while diving like 20m down the sea. NOT IN SINGAPORE SOMEMORE LEH. Canice was just a metre in the waters when a rock-like thingy stinked her feet. Poor thing I was just standing next to her. *CANICE IS A BRAVE GIRL*

So what else happened. We did stunts in the water like so fun seeing people falling into the water then they look so cui with their hair all messed up. Idl my hair to be wet la. My head will look flat and fat. The photos all like so ugly. HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE.

Ber (Ben) didn't go. Jw so sad sia like the whole day emo. IF HE SEES THIS I SURE DIE. D:

BER GO PANGSEH ME LEH!!!!!!! FLEA > BLAZERS. *Slap

Daddy, mummy, Nel were @ Vivo and I ate Bah Kut Teh for dinner YUMZ!!! THEN WENT HOME AND CHILLED ON MY SOFA WATCH TV SHIOK TO THE MAXIMUM.

:)

School started on Monday. Tiring.

Many stuff happened the past few days.

No it's not a breakup. Maybe not yet.

I love you. I miss you. I cry whenever I think of you. I feel guilty I hurt you. I can't help but feel I'm the worst girlfriend ever. I know I'm hot tempered. I never think before I say stuff no one likes to hear. I know I'm selfish. I know if you were someone else, you wouldn't love me already. I can't commit myself. I can't sacrifice. Idk why ): It was so tough for me to fight for you before I got you back but now's like we're back to square 1. We're no longer talking like we used to. We're just not like before. Yes, its up to us it is but I don't know where to go from here that's why I'm unsure.

I wonder if I was ever meant to be yours.

I apologise, I am sorry.

If anything happens, you're still a part of me and you'll forever be dear to me.

If you're disappointed with me, then go ahead cause' thats how I feel about myself.

I was born to tell you I love you and I am torn to do what I have to.

K TIME FOR WANGWANG *SMILE*

Don't you just adore us?

We're like mad kewt!!!!!!!!! For 17 year olds it's not/rarely achievable. Such beautiful + cute faces. Yes, when cute =/= ugly buy adorable. HEEZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ I've gotten one of the nicer pictures from the folder but you can check the rest out from an album by Bev, TP Shinanigans.

Does anyone know how to resize pictures in blogposts without resizing it manually one by one, damn tiring one know!!! And also, Idw 'em to get blurrer. The sharpness of the picture like no longer there. ):

And I went for cheerleading today. And I officially did a shoulder stand.

YES LIKE THOSE YOU SEE ON TV THE GIRL STANDS ON THE BOY'S SHOULDERS!!!

Thankz Aloy for carrying my heavy weight!

I luv Blazers, guys. I luv 'em. :>

Hello babies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! School's over OMG OMG OMG COOL RIGHT I KNOW. Damn slackerzzzzzzzzzzz manzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Are you jealous????????????????????????????????????????

Val, Bev just got their 2nd earhole piercings! Omg I'm so tempted to get one, since foreva. But my mom will just ignore me for ten thousand days and she'll give me a black face for the rest of my life. Yupz, I'm 17 but she treats me like a 10 year old. ): Don't like it but I have to live with it.
(K Bev didn't get hers. Cause' she say heartpain to pierce stewpidddddddddd)

Here's the story I wanna share, it's so touching it can make you cry. So get your tissue papers/ handkerchief ready!!!

So like, Bernard and Grace met @ a company's dinner and they fell in love at first sight. :> They became a couple soon after and everything was perfect. 3/4/5 years later, (not so sure hehe) Bernard brought Grace to Sipadan to dive. He proposed to her UNDERWATER (LIKE OMG SO ROMANTIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), while they were diving, Grace agreed to his proposal and it was like, the real beginning of a life together. The next day, the couple went for their dives again. Disaster struck.

Bernard died suddenly, while he was diving.

Can you imagine? Grace must have been devastated. They almost got married.

It has been 4 years already. Grace still updates the blog she created for him regularly.

Well, I guess true love never dies. Even though one's in heaven and the other's on earth.

DAMMIT I REALLY FEEL LIKE CRYING WHEN I READ HER PREVIOUS BLOGPOSTS!!!!!!!
WHY MUST PEOPLE DIE!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Anyway, I'm starting to luv my hair but I can't stop thinking its short even though it has covered my boobies completely -_- HEHEHEHEHEHEHE. I want it to reach my belly button BADLY and I've said this like forever. And guyz, I'm going to let my fringe grow so my hair will look even better HOPEFULLY!!! And I'm contented with my dye since the roots aren't THAT obvious yet. :> Better not waste money!

I'm going to be a goodgirl and study for my chemistry really soon.

I'VE BEEN EATING SUPER ALOT LATELY MY TUMMY SO HUGE LIKE A YOGABALL.

Heidi stop eating!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kthxbuaiz babies.

Treasure every single moment, because it might be your last.

Idc I wanna be with Joel, like forever. I know its cheesy and everybody says girlboy relationships at this age rarely lasts. Idk if it'll last or anything but I've confidence it will, if I stop being so childish and immature and cut down on all my nonsense and bad temper. Idw to be like Grace. I want to live with the boy I love for the rest of my life. And I really mean it when I say for the rest of my life.

As for Grace, I hope she finds someone like Bernard, even though I know no one will replace him, at least someone who loves her as much as Bernard did. Grace you're so strong I salute you. Bernard was the luckiest man on Earth.

Hello guyzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz this blog is so dead OMG.

School's busy and stuff. K fine fine, I think I'm just using it as an excuse. School's school, I still spend half of my time on the computer anywayz. -_-. I just didn't have the mood to blog because no one's reading it anyway. I've lost my readers already after being gone for so long. Haiiiiiiiiiiii.

My blogging habit is vanishing~ Woohoo.

So whatz up with my life lately? Nothing much actually.

I've started school for a month naoz and school's been really great except for the tests and stewpid surprise pop quizzes. Hmphie. ): Ahhhhhhhhhhhh I love my babies at school they make me look forward going to school everyday. I've met tonz of friends in school and it's like, everyone so so so so nice. :> The teachers? Some of them are quite sickening. Aiyah but believe it or not, THE NICEST TEACHER IS TEACHING ME THE SUBJECT I HATE MOST.

Well, I take that as something good hahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahha.

I hate Human Anatomy and Physiology. I never ever ever ever wanted to be a doctor (Human-specialised doctor) I swear. Whatz up with all the stupid cells in a human body?!?!?!?! Psuedostratified Columnar cells oh wtv. They annoy me. I NEVER THOUGHT I'D HAVE TO TAKE UP HUMAN ANATOMY BEFORE GOING INTO ANIMALS!!! But it doesn't make sense, does it??? I mean hellooooooooooo I'm not gonna treat humanz in the future or what right not.

So what if there's huge similarities in both the humans and animals??? It's just a wrong step to take. I'm gonna fail HAP, I'm gonna do soooooo badly I won't even have the mood to go to school ): But there's hope!!! Maybe the teacher's so brilliant he gives me inspiration or something.............................................................................................

After school's nothing else, I just go home and do whatever I want. (WHEN THERE'S NO HOMEWORK THAT IS!) And for the time being, there isn't much homework. HEHE. On certain days, I'll just stay back for cheerleading muahahahahahaha. It's like the funnest Cca ever. You get tossed around like nobody's business *AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!*

But physical training's mad tiring! ):

Oh well, I wanna stick with it anyway.

Pictures another time k? I wanna dye my hair so badly ):

Kbyezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

I got a touching story to share with y'all some time soon.

And hey you know something I'm saving money for fleas coming up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm still not over the fact that she's gone.

What's funny, I don't even know her. I didn't even know she existed till now, when she's gone.

I've been reading her blog entries over and over again and now it's like... if she had someone who was really THERE for her. Hmmmm, she wouldn't have done that to herself right? Her blog entries makes me feel so much for her. And also, I've been going to her facebook group and everybody loves her so muchiezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. If she knew so many people cares for her, she wouldn't have done it right?

There are many strangers like me.

-

What did her boyfriend do?

-

Totally can't imagine how jerk he is to make her do that.

-

Hmm, I miss Joel.

He's coming home tomorrow!!! Woohoo~ I have no idea what time but well, it's tomorrow!!! Hehe. K wait to be exact, it's today since it's 2am naoz. :) I wonder if he slept in the jungle with disgusting insects and all the trees around him like the other time. I wonder if he even slept.

Well probably not, it's a camp afterall. A camp, you can't expect much from camps.

Oh then I guess he'll come home and sleep for 12 hours straight. Then I can only officially talk to him on Monday which is like, reeeeeeeeeeeeeally far away from now. ):

K it doesn't matter as long as he's back home safe and sound. (:

And, I didn't blog about yesterday right? Before I forget, Happy Birthday Si Tian!

I met all of them @ Tampines Pizza Hut and they dined. :) I happily ate my hershey's cookies and cream chocolate bar yumz. I've been craving for it. Omg dammit now I'm hungry yumz. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh yes back to where I was, I swear I was super hungry when I saw them eating the spicy drumlets. Omgoodness, I could've drooled if the boys weren't around.

Seriously they left every drumstick meatless.

They ate like dogs. *points* NOT AN INSULT.

Then I met Anna Choo. Miss her so muchiez. She didn't change a bit, still as pretty as eva.

Later on, we went up to the Open Plaza to play/ talk/ chill/ camwhore. So fun. Just that I think we disturbed some of the public who were there to have some quiet time!!! Ended up doing heybanjah in a circle -_- and they couldn't stop repeating the cheers! Mad high.

Took pictures effing lotz of unglam oh manzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ): Leaves me sorrowful.

Then went home sweet home, to realise my sister isn't home. (COULD'VE STAYED OUT LONGER ARGH >;( ANGRY!) I bought paopaocha for her, heng I had just enough $$$. I won't repeat myself, you can read P.S of my previous post just below!!!

I'm sucha loving sister.

I had so much fun with my friendz. They bought all of us friendship bands too. :) Hehe. Now we all have something in common. I love 'em.

Oh guyz you know I realise Jing wasn't beside me when she was supposed to be beside me. Then I went around the house looking for her. And I found her in the studyroom (lights off) munching popcorns. -_-. The popcorn was in my bag k but when I found her, it was a metre away from my bag and she was still munching when I turned on the lights! She gave me the act kelian face cause' I guess she thought I was going to scold her for stealing my popcorn. Hehe.

She's so cute. She left a trial of popcorn bits anyway.

Greedy girl caught red-handed!

Goodbye guys.

Joel, come home soon. You're missed, dearly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lonely girl not sleeping with boyfriend tonight again. Night #2 and I'm not surviving.