Don't text him

Don't text him

Don't text him

Don't text him

Don't text him

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I just texted him.

-

It sucks how badly you want to talk him but know that things will only become worse. Frankly, I miss him but if we're better off without each other then (insert smile). If we do not work out, he will never and was never mine. I feel I'm strong I don't cry as much like I used to. Y'know like now I'm no longer 15, maturity steps in. He shouldn't feel sad because I'm not crying. It doesn't mean I'm not sad. It just means, I'm telling myself everything's going to be okay.

But whatever the outcome is, he will always be dear to me and occupy a place in my heart.

Because he's everything I dreamt of. No actually, he's more than everything I dreamt of.

Now I understand what it means when someone's too good for you. It's not stupidity, really. It's just when he's too nice, I tend to be spoilt like I am now and I admit I take him for granted.

8 hours have passed since I last texted him. 8 hours - Healthy nap time. I wonder what he's doing. Mmhmm.

I didn't really think of him thought he'll always be at the back of my mind for now. Its much easier when you've friends around you. They make time fly and they make it seem like actually it isn't that bad afterall. You just gotta occupy yourself with stuff that makes you happier.

Sometimes I kinda ask myself why am I always falling into shit?????

I once pledged and promised myself I have to treasure this relationship and make it my last and final relationship, get married to him and stay faithful and loyal to him for the rest of our lives. But now it doesn't seem like I'm keeping to my words. Yes, this time I blame myself for it. Really.

I have put myself in his shoes. Idk how badly I'll react to it but I know I'll feel miserable.

Idw him to feel miserable. I sincerely want him to be happy although I know it's nearly impossible.

Why can't I commit myself to a relationship and sacrifice as much as I have to when I once had a 3 year long relationship. Is it because I've no confidence in any cocky relationship because I know in the end, whether both parties are still in love with each other, either 1 will come up with excuses to leave the other? Fragility. Nah, I think it's just an excuse. Because now I'm the one coming up with an excuse to leave him.

Idk actually.

He hasn't replied hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ); He didn't call me yst night before he slept, I was angry. That's why I replied him coldly this morning like I wasn't interested talking to him at all. I was at fault, wasn't I?

Dan's birthday today. Met Geraint, Jingyong, Candy and Rachel @ Tampines and Junsiang on the way in the train and CS @ Ion! Daniel had a wild ride today hehehehehe but he looked so chio in the makeup I did on him!!! Poor Daniel, but he could've looked worse ALL THANKS TO ME AND MY AWESOME MAKEUP SKILLS. Pictures will be up on FACEBOOK sooooooooooooon I'll see if I post it. I hope I looked glam. I felt skinny today till I went home and saw the sucky mirror I AM SO FAT.

And 9 people in total say I look like Jessica from SNSD like cool or what but wthhhhhhhhh she is so chio SO I TAKE THAT AS A COMPLIMENT AH?????????????

People say I look like Bunny, Barbie, Jessica and Ng Hui (Mediacorp but I don't think many knows her) Does that mean............ Jessica looks like a bunny hehehehehehe

I feel happy today! :)

When I tried looking @ Jessica's face on the poster at some booth I dropped the frame like *BOWMB* LUCKILY THE UNCLE NEH SCOLD ME.

AND JINGYONG WAS NICE ENOUGH TO TAKE MRT WITH ME (:

Dan, hope you enjoyed your birthday and my card for you. LT18 + Heidi will always luv you!

I need to mug for sem test I want to score and make myself, Mom Dad happy.

DAD'S @ PENANG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Did you see Forever21's leopard printed bikini in pink?! I'm gonna get it.

I'm not crying because I don't feel sad. I'm not crying because I'm telling myself not to. But the tears will overcome me when night falls and I'm all alone on my bed with 8 soft toys around me, bringing back unforgetable memories.